These are some personal lessons I have learned along the way during dating, courtship, and choosing a partner
1- Ignoring red flags will be high on the list for me. We all have character traits but watch for red flags early on in the dating stage. A colleague once told me there is politics everywhere you go to work but choose the politics you want to be around. There are negative character traits in all of us. We are not perfect; so far as we remain in this Adamic body, we will continue to deal with negative character traits. However, when these red flags suffix, make sure they are character traits you can live with for the rest of your life.
2- The worst thing you want to hear from a partner is, “this is how I am,”’ and this is how I have always been. Another worst thing is people around that person, i.e., family condoning to the famous saying of this is how I am. There is nothing like “this is how I am” if you are in God. The world would be in serious trouble if we all said this is how we are. Yesterday I blogged about living a life just like our maker. If the goal of both of the partners is not to lose themselves to be more like Christ, then please forget it. The famous saying of this is how I am ought to be a huge red flag; in my opinion, don’t try and contend with such a mentality and attitude. God has to be in the center of it all; whatever both Parties do have to be done as if they are doing it unto the Lord. “This is how I am” is terrible talk and should not come from anyone’s mouth in a relationship. Unfortunately, society like to condone foolishness, and we are enablers of bad, destructive behaviors
3- Do not pursue a man; this is for the ladies. I know some people may not agree with me because, unfortunately, we live in a strange world, and we are in a particular era of strange normalization of all sorts. Again, this is a lesson I have learned personally. If you don’t invest in a thing, you don’t see it’s worth.
4- Know each other’s love language
5- Your partner must be teachable; they ought to know that none is perfect. If a man or woman does not listen to anyone, not even his or her parents, then you are in for some harsh ride. Both parties have to have someone they look up to, someone they are accountable to. God is ultimately in the center of it, but you will need a human figure here on earth to mentor you through the journey. An argumentative partner who has to have the last word and always prove a point will drain the life out of you.
6- There is one particular trait I have that has worried me, but my mentors tell me I shouldn’t change any of that. I poured this part of me into the wrong people. This trait goes above and beyond, pouring all of me into my partner, asking for nothing in return; I mean nothing. I am still trying to figure this part out.
7-Consistency, you have to be consistent. Whatever you start the relationship with, you have to end with it, so for instance, if you begin the relationship by paying all the bills in the house, i.e., wearing the man's pants, you got to keep it going and not grow weary. Honestly, all jokes aside, if you pour into the right person, this shouldn’t be an issue because when one person is down, the other takes over, and vice versa, both parties, complement each other in their weaknesses.