Updated: Nov 14, 2021
Shame? I have none whatsoever. God looks at motives; people’s perception does not move him. I have made myself vulnerable by telling my story so that someone else can glean from it.
I remember one of my Uncles will always commend me for how strong I have been through it all. He will tell me, Princess, I am encouraged anytime I talk to you. He says to me; you put my mind at ease.
In part one, I talked about losing myself. I am sure people are fighting all kinds of battles and losing themselves; just know that when it becomes a losing battle, let it go and surrender it all to God. For me, letting go and surrendering was a game-changer. I began to find inner peace. The healing and the journey are still ongoing but trust me; it’s way better than it used to be.
One particular friend called me and spoke at length with me some months ago. He told me to let go and let God; he told me about detours in life and how God allows us to re-route and get back on track. I am not sure if he is aware of what God used him to do that day, but it truly helped me embark on my transformation journey.
A friend asked me yesterday what percentage will I give my healing process, and I said about 80 percent. It was quite an interesting dialogue I had with this person. He said, how did you get to the 80 percent? I told him I quickly had to renew my mind to see the beauty from the pain, and I told him the biggest for me was the God factor. A friend of mine also died suddenly, and my view on life changed totally after that horrible news. I couldn’t fathom fighting fruitless battles as I have come to realize tomorrow is not promised for anyone. The equation I came to with this friend I had the dialogue with yesterday was Pain = lessons= beauty. Trust me, I have not arrived, but I don’t need to come before I start doing what has been embedded in me. My blogs are therapeutic for me.
I am thankful for my counselor/therapist, who took me through several sessions and eventually offered to become my spiritual father. Friends and family who have stood by me. Many of them would not like to be named, but their names will forever be remembered wherever this part of my story is told. Shout out to ministers like RC Blakes JR., Shannon Evette, Winter Williams, and Sarah Jakes Roberts. They continue to have great impartation on my life.
A lot of people are going through all kinds of situations. For me, what people said became a thing of no value. It wasn’t about how I needed to score points, it wasn't about proving a point, and it wasn’t about being right; it was about coming to accept what is, letting go of what was, and striving towards what is to come. I found grace and mercy through my pursuance of drawing closer to God and through the people he strategically placed in my life.
My niece said to me yesterday, wow, she would never have known that I was fighting these silent battles; I still managed to smile, went to work, never gave the impression that I was fighting these battles; matter of fact, I died to myself to take care of others more than I have ever done in any season of my life. Did I cry and ask questions? Absolutely because I am human. See, everyone in life is fighting some battle so let’s all learn to show grace and mercy as much as possible. Don’t be quick to judge, don’t assume because of naysayers. The assumption is another form of ignorance. As for the Sadducee and Pharisee spirits, let them be far from your dwelling.
I pray that we will learn to show grace and mercy and always remember that the mere fact that someone is standing tall does not mean they are not fighting silent battles.
I am genuinely excited about what God is doing and the continual shift in the atmosphere. We will continue our blog on choosing a life partner in the coming days. Shalom.