My sister lived with me in a particular season. Poor her, she became the mediator at some point, I honestly look back now, and I laugh, So at times in telling our stories, one person will go and bring Situations from 20 years ago, something that someone said twenty years ago ought to be used against the other person to bash their integrity. The expectation was to justify things said and done in the past.
Keeping records of wrongs was like bread and butter. I am sure we have all been guilty of this in our relationships, friendships, in dealing with co-workers, etc., perhaps part of human nature. It is not part of who God is.
I will not give many details to these situations; the example given above builds on a point. I remember I would take my phone and read messages sent many months and years ago. My sister at the time will tell me to delete all those messages. I had no clue what she was talking about, but now I do. Intermittently talking about certain happenings will get me emotionally off to the point that you can ascertain the hurt from my voice
The expectations I had were so high that when they were not being met, it turned into anger for me. I am pretty familiar with the attributes of love in 1st Corinthians 13. Still, I must admit I never took the time to deduce each detail and seek understanding from the Holy Spirit.
This is the revelation I got. I had to go for counseling to address the root cause of specific triggers. I needed to do that because I realized it wasn’t who Adobea was. Indeed, the keys to a better me were in my hands. The situation was making me stagnant emotionally, physically, and spiritually. This has been one of my best decisions ever, and I will advocate for professional counseling any day.
I also realized records of wrongs were being kept to justify who is right or who is not. This was done to score points; this narrating of records of wrongs became rather exhausting; soon, I realized that it was instead foolishness.
In a nutshell, love is not easily angered and does not keep wrong records. I know this can be hard if you try to do it independently. May we seek help from our Creator, the one who can do more than we ask.