My Relationship With My Ex-Husband.

Updated: Jan 19

Oh, Lord. I am genuinely excited about this blog. He has no clue about me doing this. Where do I start with this, Dad? Trust me; we had our differences. We had some good times together. Our divorce process wasn’t that easy. It did come with some challenges. As they say, going through a divorce is like two souls being ripped apart. We were both relatively young, and I truly doubt if we both understood marriage. Recently, on one of his rounds to pick up the kids, I told him that God gives me a larger platform. He will be a guest speaker on my show; we laughed about it.

I will commend my ex-husband for the man he is today and the father he is to our children. I didn’t make it easy for him in the beginning. He always thanked me even after the divorce, and I would be so mad; I just couldn’t understand why he would always thank me.

I recently came to understand why he did that. Our divorce propelled him to go to Pharmacy school, he had no choice but to grow through the challenges, and he did the growing so well. We all had some growing to do and still do, but I think he has surpassed me in this area.

Why am I saying that our divorce propelled him to pursue so many things? Because I want people to know that he could make sense of the pain, he learned his lessons from the pain, and he found beauty in it by positively pursuing life.

I used to get on his last nerves, and he would be so worked up. As time went on, I realized he wasn't moved by my shenanigans anymore; that is growth. When I realized this, I stopped pressing his buttons, and I knew I had more growing to do myself. A friend recently told me that I am controversial. I know it will take a lot of grace and patience for a man to deal with who I am and watch me evolve into who God has called me to be.

I am honestly not that controversial, but I know who I am now, and in choosing, I have to choose well. We all have our issues and negative character traits; however, my ex-husband has allowed himself to grow over the years and is a better man now. Unfortunately, it just didn’t work out for us, and that is okay; that does not mean it will not work out with someone else. It also does not mean he has to despise me or Vice versa.

A few years ago, if you told me I would be blogging about my ex-husband, I would have given you a nasty and dirty look. Amazingly, my ex-husband is now a good friend. Although he gets on my nerves at times, I am still learning to overlook the minute things he does that get to me.

We let go, I moved on, and he has also done the same. I am genuinely excited for him in regards to where he is. For me, I am enjoying this particular season because my destiny is being birthed out of this season. I am chasing destiny, and that’s all that matters to me right now. What good is it if I do not fulfill what I was placed here on earth to do? I see a lot of breakups that happen where the two parties turn enemies.

Honestly, where are we going with everything in this world? We are here today, gone tomorrow. Why then waste your time fighting fruitless battles? Am sure people have said all kinds of things regarding this season. Just a little background, I am the one who asked for the divorce from him in search of greener pastures. Honestly, that season came with its challenges, and at the time, divorce was what I saw best.

In a nutshell, I have a perfect relationship with my ex-husband; he is not my enemy, we did away with our differences. He is a good father to our children. Some years back, I wouldn’t say all these things about him. The above affirms my recent blog on times and seasons.

A few days ago, I was late coming home; the kids were so scared, they called their Dad to tell him I wasn’t home because they are used to me coming home at a particular time. They were scared something had happened to me; they got their Dad worried, guess what? He called me to make sure I was ok; he says the kids were worried because I was not home. What they did that day touched my heart, him in particular.

In summary, we have a good relationship now; many people are fighting. I don’t know what battles with their ex‘s etc. People who were once lovers have turned into enemies and despise each other with every ounce of blood in them. It is okay to keep your distance if the situation calls for it but don’t become enemies. Oh, and I am very okay with his family. His younger sister and I, we joke around all the time. We were cracking jokes through text messages, even on my ex-husband‘s wedding day. I didn’t get here with him; it took a lot of surrendering.

Lord, please grace all of us with the ability to let go, find our purpose in pain, and move on to pursue our God-given purpose and destiny. Make sure chasing after destiny is at the forefront of your toil on earth because it would be meaningless if you don’t.

I am getting so many messages about these blogs, and I am genuinely honored to touch lives with these stories. I give God all the credit for paving the way. Shalom.

Adobea, (Imani)

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